Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Welcome to 2011

Time to ring in the new year here in Hoosierville.  I hope everyone survived 2010 somewhat intact.  Now that it is back to work time, it is also time to become one with the commute to and fro.  Armed with a new attitude and steaming mug of coffee, I ventured forth on Monday.  Expecting the worst, I even managed to depart a few minutes early.  Smooth sailing, much to my surprise until I neared the city.  Drat the luck, it was a backup for several miles.  Time to settle in and stay calm and nurse the coffee.  Suddenly the clog broke free and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but some MOPE crawling along in the left lane at snail speed.  Some nervous biddy (not old I might add) with her chin up on the steering wheel trying to negotiate rush hour in Chicago, piling up those of us with lives and responsibilities.

Get the hell off my road sweetheart or get a ride.  I think every accident in Chicagoland is from some MOPE trying to get left to slow down, usually in front of an extremely large truck driven by someone who bought their CDL from a previous corrupt Illinois politician.

But, given that Christmas was a wonderful time and I got a bunch of neat stuff, I faired well and maintained some semblance of composure.  Until the drive home.  I am fairly certain the women from the A.M. sent her son out in the P.M. to foul things up again!  Same scenario heading outbound this time.  But being the kind considerate soul that I am, and allowing some leeway for the MOPEs who forgot how to drive after a couple days off, I managed to make it home without further incident.

Skip ahead to today's morning drive, lo and behold it is a carbon copy of yesterday's!  Different driver, different car, same result.  Now I ask you, is there a conspiracy I don't know about?  If so, it ranks up there with several with which I have never received an info packet regarding:  Catholics taking over the world (no invitation to the secret meetings), European-American dominance (my Klan membership kit must be lost in the mail),  am blissfully unaware of the secret satanic military agenda (but I do have some unit crests with suspicious symbols), believe mankind landed on the moon (when was the last time our government kept anything secret?), Scientologists run Hollywood (if they do, so what?).  I do however believe in UFO's, ghosts,  Oswald traveled back in time using a flux capacitor to kill Lincoln, and aliens built the pyramids (because humans would never do anything that extreme in the name of religion).

That leaves only a few truths that one can rely on.
1. You never really know for certain until you dig it up.
2. Water flows downhill.
3. It will be there tomorrow, or at least it has for several billion years, so it's a pretty good bet.

If I get another slow mover in the left lane today, the gloves come off for 2011.